Sunday, August 26, 2018

1157; Arsenal Forever

Come On You Gunners! Keep The Red Flag Fly High 🔴

Saturday, July 7, 2018

1156; My Eyes Area Stung After Writing This

Bismillah.

Warning: very random storyline

My blog posts these days have been sort of emo-ish maybe because I don’t have any other places to rant to. My twidder account was locked and I am not really a fan of Facebook, hence I now just keep every single thing to myself. Intagram’s kinda hard too because you can see who viewed your stories and I’m afraid these people I see will judge me... 

Well not that I don’t have any friends or family to talk to, it’s just that I know they have been through a lot too so I reckon it’s best to not add more burden to their shoulders. 

Talk about friends, I had splendid days in Shah Alam last week thanks to Erna, Hadina, Pie & Megat. As much as I was in awe of them as individuals, I can’t help but be amazed by how this friendship is slowly becoming like a marriage- arguments after arguments but we still come back for each other. Interesting.

Anyway, I had the hardest goodbye last week with the geng that I cried from Shah Alam to Johor. I just don’t know when can I meet them again. As much as I want to be with them without burdening them too much, I couldn’t afford going there too many times too. 

On the same day, I got a news that my uncle was admitted to the ICU. Arrived from Shah Alam during zuhur and after asar terus gerak hospital. People came out from the ward crying and all so I kept having to look at other places to avoid myself from bursting into tears... I told my aunt I couldn’t go in to see him because I was just too sad. Conclusion is, I was a complete mess on that day.

Yesterday I went to the hospital again, and had the courage to go into the ICU to see my uncle. It was just devastating to see him unconscious like that. Cik Lah told me to whisper anything to his ears but all I could do is stand still in front of the bed and cry. Man with this tissue heart, I could never become a doctor or even a nurse.

Semoga Cik Yie mudah sembuh & mudah sedar amin! May good news reach our ears amin!

0008
Kulai

Thursday, June 28, 2018

1155; Guide Me

Bismillah.

It’s too noisy down here. Time to hear what the sky says.

Down at the lowest point,
1048
Kulai.

Wednesday, June 27, 2018

1154; Yunus

Bismillah.

Indeed, Allah does not wrong the people at all.
But it is the people who are wronging themselves.

One who stopped,
1108,
Kulai.

Wednesday, June 13, 2018

1153; Just Another Roller Coaster Day

Bismillah.

1. It's half past 2 am now and my jet lag still hasn't recovered so I'm pretty much wide awake.

2. Right after my millionth work has been rejected, I sat down and calmed myself by watching Running Man's latest episode, made myself megi asam laksa and tell myself I should recover myself through writing something.

3. Only God knows how I was so so so hyped up about all this and started preparing since the first day I got this task but people just strip my motivation off.

3. Talk about rejection, I hope soon I'll get used to being rejected coz I tell you the amount of times I've been through this pain.. from scholarships to job applications to the things I worked hard for... never mind. Pain isn't real unless proven otherwise kan haha. Damn tiberrr crying.

4. Last night while I was doing witr, a lady who prayed next to me sujud a bit too long and I was sure she was crying. My heart instantly prays to Allah to grant her wishes. She must've really wanted what she prayed for. Understood.

5. Anyway, yesterday I made this doa to Allah, 'Ya Allah I only wish for two things tomorrow. Please grant these wishes', and today He granted them all and I was soooo so happy! At least I still have Allah who don't reject me. And one of the doa is so that one of my application won't get rejected and it didn't! That's the happy part of my day hehe.

6. Oh andddd, today I dUCk-ed Ibu and she was so so happy. I swear I live for that smile.

7. Up till this paragraph, I am still constraining myself from the number one reason I suddenly write this post. See I'm now good at hiding things.

8. About hiding things, I thought I hid my sadness well when I came back home to no-more-salam-nenek the other day. Okay I'm stopping that right there.

9. Nowadays I'd usually tell myself and other people that I'm not trustworthy. It's actually saddening how I have to put myself that way but... just because.

10. Tenth point is probably to say that 'I tried & I'm still trying'. Nothing much, I just hope people know how much I tried. It's just that I'm human & I fail. Things change. It's never that I give up, I just need more time to try.

All teary,
0324
Kulai