Tuesday, October 25, 2016

1058; Yana, Piqah, Syaleen, Erna


It was a calm morning in Mayang Selida room 8-17.

I was up earliest as usual. The night before, we arranged our beds side by side so that we can sleep together for the last few nights, so this morning I woke up to the sight of my roommates by my side. Them sleeping was never a big deal before but that morning, it feels slightly different. Emotionally different.

I started counting. Two days. Two days before fate had to set us four apart. After almost two and a half years, now it's only two days left. Time sure flew so fast.

I'll long for us struggling waking each other up for subuh, Yana's signature sneeze in the morning, Piqah's never ending Ayda Jebat alarm and Erna's stretch before going out of bed.

The memories of early morning chaos before going to class will surely make me smile alone in the future especially us reminding each other to wear pants before going out and the way all of us wanted to wear tudung in front of Piqah's locker coz hers got the best lighting ever haha.

I'll miss opening the door after class to seeing Yana still soundly sleeping, Piqah laughing and crying randomly in front of her laptop and Erna, she motivating me to sleep before the next class (and both of us had to skip the class due to oversleeping, duhh).

And ahh yess, our midnight memoriesss. I'll miss waking up at 3am laughing to Piqah and Yana's jokes, hearing you girls rant of hunger, and our late night gossips about whoever. One thing I regret not doing for the past semesters is resting my head on Piqah's back. How come I never knew she was so soft and cuddly?!! /cries/

I stared at them sleeping, slightly chuckled seeing their sleeping poses. Ahh, I'm so gonna miss you girls.

"Yanaa, Piqahh, Ernaa bangun subuhhhh"

I hope you girls miss that too /wink/


To Syaleen, I missed you too. Things were surely different without you by our side. All five of us will surely make a great family and sisters together.


Thursday, October 13, 2016

1057; Good Poems


It is always good poems that makes me wanna love again.


Saturday, October 8, 2016

1056; Suaramu


"Tahu mengapa aku sayangi kau lebih dari siapa pun? Karena kau menulis. Suaramu takkan padam ditelan angin, akan abadi, sampai jauh, jauh dikemudian hari." -Promedya Ananta Toer.


I find Indonesian poems and language so romantic. Help.


Wednesday, September 28, 2016


Saturday, September 24, 2016

1054; That Evening.


It was a windy evening in 2010, as far as I could remember. I was alone at the back of the more-than-15-bed-lengthed dorm, writing something on small pieces of papers. It was a list of something that was tinyly written. Something that never have I thought could change the way my future works.

I am blessed for that day my heart was moved to do that. A list of things I should do and should not do in my life. Things a muslimah should and not do in life. Things a girl should and not do in life. Things a non-animal-lover should and not do in life. Things a student should and not do in life. Things a daughter should and not do in life. Things a human being should and should not do in life.

I now thank the younger me for doing that for these are the things that most of the time saved me from the lies of the world.

It was a windy evening in 2010. I fold up those papers into two, and kept them behind my matrix card for few years before the words were washed up by the rain. But worry not, the words are still there with me, in me, being the principles of my life.


Thursday, September 15, 2016

1053; Agreed


Qisya, I finally agreed to your latest blog post.

It's hard to pretend but pretending is the only way to make us go through this.

I hope you'll be strong.
Wish me the same.



Wednesday, September 7, 2016

1052; Once A Shattered Dream


"Everyone's studying abroad already and there's me with my shitty dream"

I once quoted this in this blog but it didn't last long before I deleted it. It makes me sad everytime (even after more than 2 years) and adding another sad story to my life isnt helping.

I've been putting hell lot of effort for almost 5 semesters (not to mention 5 years in STF) to achieve good academic results everytime just to learn that good results wont promise you anything you want. Hardwork itself isn't enough. It requires doa to complement the effort.

After so long keeping this to myself, I think it's time.

So here I am, in this post, quoting the words again, but this time with another intention. Allah is the best planner but it would help a lot for you to pray for me (and my friends who have the same goal as I do).

Please help this girl put back her once a shattered dream into reality. Please pray that I get to go to my dream uni with good scholarship. Amin.

p/s: Man this post had me so emotional.


Monday, August 22, 2016

1051; You're a Hibiscus.


I was so hungry.

I only had megi for last night's dinner and a mug of Nestum this morning. Erna's worse- she only had biscuits for dinner. Yeah you dont have to tell us. We women so lazy one to go downstairs to find food haha.

For a person who gets hungry all the time like me, this is a no-no. I. Need. Food. I. Can. Now. Eat. A. Man. Already. So after Zuhur, Erna & I, we rushed to have lunch together. I might be as well too hungry to think so I just put on anything I can grab from the locker.

As I walked out of the door, I glanced over the outfit that I'm wearing... oh gosh. RIP fashion sense. What was I thinking? Green cardigan and red tshirt? I mean, green and red? Together? This is literally an insult to all colour blinds in the world!

Blergh whatever. I've got stomach to be fed right now and this isnt really the time to talk fashion. Plus, I'm never gonna meet anyone I know down there, right? Riiighhtttttt??

Yeah right.

A bunch of guy friends are down there buying their food too. Now I'm embarassed of myself. Luck isnt on my side today. Huhuu. Eventhough no one really cares but... I DO HAVE A PRESTIGIOUS LEVEL TO BE MAINTAINED, NOT TO MENTION MY INSECURITIES!

Fuhh take a deep breath, Faqihah. Think positive. You gotta handle this.

Green and red? That's the colour of nature. Oh wait. You look like a flower. The petals and the leaves... Awwh, a hibiscus!


So guys, I went queuing for my food, chanting:

'It's okay. You look like a flower.'

'You're a flower'

'Yes, a flower.'

And I almost thought I've gone crazy.


Sunday, August 14, 2016

1050; In Denial


"Akak terkejut tak kalau adik cakap yang adik dah ada girlfriend?"

I think I just heard my heart fell.

It wasn't the first time I heard him having a girlfriend. In fact, maybe countless. But today feels a little bit different. Maybe it was his intonations that made me feel so, and the fact he was talking one-to-one with me.

We siblings rarely meet each other and everytime we do and have talks with each other, the topic becomes more serious everytime.

Now I'm living in denial. No, no way my babies are growing up so fast. Why are they talking to me about love now? Go and talk to someone else but not me. This is heartbreaking. Give me some time to adjust myself to this thing.

Plus, you're not gonna get married until I do, so please.. back off. /blows nail/


Saturday, August 13, 2016

1049; Ibu


Went outing with ibu few weeks ago, took photo of ibu and the photo turned out so beautiful (of course the beauty of the photo comes from ibu) so I decided to make some photoshop edits of the photo. The process was quite easy but very tedious because I had to make every single triangle (large and big) fits in perfectly with the shades and colours. Not a fan of editing but yeah, did it tho.