Saturday, September 24, 2016

1054; That Evening.

Bismillah.

It was a windy evening in 2010, as far as I could remember. I was alone at the back of the more-than-15-bed-lengthed dorm, writing something on small pieces of papers. It was a list of something that was tinyly written. Something that never have I thought could change the way my future works.

I am blessed for that day my heart was moved to do that. A list of things I should do and should not do in my life. Things a muslimah should and not do in life. Things a girl should and not do in life. Things a non-animal-lover should and not do in life. Things a student should and not do in life. Things a daughter should and not do in life. Things a human being should and should not do in life.

I now thank the younger me for doing that for these are the things that most of the time saved me from the lies of the world.

It was a windy evening in 2010. I fold up those papers into two, and kept them behind my matrix card for few years before the words were washed up by the rain. But worry not, the words are still there with me, in me, being the principles of my life.

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Thursday, September 15, 2016

1053; Agreed

Bismillah.

Qisya, I finally agreed to your latest blog post.

It's hard to pretend but pretending is the only way to make us go through this.

I hope you'll be strong.
Wish me the same.

:)

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Wednesday, September 7, 2016

1052; Once A Shattered Dream

Bismillah.

"Everyone's studying abroad already and there's me with my shitty dream"

I once quoted this in this blog but it didn't last long before I deleted it. It makes me sad everytime (even after more than 2 years) and adding another sad story to my life isnt helping.

I've been putting hell lot of effort for almost 5 semesters (not to mention 5 years in STF) to achieve good academic results everytime just to learn that good results wont promise you anything you want. Hardwork itself isn't enough. It requires doa to complement the effort.

After so long keeping this to myself, I think it's time.

So here I am, in this post, quoting the words again, but this time with another intention. Allah is the best planner but it would help a lot for you to pray for me (and my friends who have the same goal as I do).

Please help this girl put back her once a shattered dream into reality. Please pray that I get to go to my dream uni with good scholarship. Amin.

p/s: Man this post had me so emotional.

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Monday, August 22, 2016

1051; You're a Hibiscus.

Bismillah.

I was so hungry.

I only had megi for last night's dinner and a mug of Nestum this morning. Erna's worse- she only had biscuits for dinner. Yeah you dont have to tell us. We women so lazy one to go downstairs to find food haha.

For a person who gets hungry all the time like me, this is a no-no. I. Need. Food. I. Can. Now. Eat. A. Man. Already. So after Zuhur, Erna & I, we rushed to have lunch together. I might be as well too hungry to think so I just put on anything I can grab from the locker.

As I walked out of the door, I glanced over the outfit that I'm wearing... oh gosh. RIP fashion sense. What was I thinking? Green cardigan and red tshirt? I mean, green and red? Together? This is literally an insult to all colour blinds in the world!

Blergh whatever. I've got stomach to be fed right now and this isnt really the time to talk fashion. Plus, I'm never gonna meet anyone I know down there, right? Riiighhtttttt??

Yeah right.

A bunch of guy friends are down there buying their food too. Now I'm embarassed of myself. Luck isnt on my side today. Huhuu. Eventhough no one really cares but... I DO HAVE A PRESTIGIOUS LEVEL TO BE MAINTAINED, NOT TO MENTION MY INSECURITIES!

Fuhh take a deep breath, Faqihah. Think positive. You gotta handle this.

Green and red? That's the colour of nature. Oh wait. You look like a flower. The petals and the leaves... Awwh, a hibiscus!

...

So guys, I went queuing for my food, chanting:

'It's okay. You look like a flower.'

'You're a flower'

'Yes, a flower.'

And I almost thought I've gone crazy.

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Sunday, August 14, 2016

1050; In Denial

Bismillah.

"Akak terkejut tak kalau adik cakap yang adik dah ada girlfriend?"

I think I just heard my heart fell.

It wasn't the first time I heard him having a girlfriend. In fact, maybe countless. But today feels a little bit different. Maybe it was his intonations that made me feel so, and the fact he was talking one-to-one with me.

We siblings rarely meet each other and everytime we do and have talks with each other, the topic becomes more serious everytime.

Now I'm living in denial. No, no way my babies are growing up so fast. Why are they talking to me about love now? Go and talk to someone else but not me. This is heartbreaking. Give me some time to adjust myself to this thing.

Plus, you're not gonna get married until I do, so please.. back off. /blows nail/

2020

Saturday, August 13, 2016

1049; Ibu

Bismillah.

Went outing with ibu few weeks ago, took photo of ibu and the photo turned out so beautiful (of course the beauty of the photo comes from ibu) so I decided to make some photoshop edits of the photo. The process was quite easy but very tedious because I had to make every single triangle (large and big) fits in perfectly with the shades and colours. Not a fan of editing but yeah, did it tho.

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Saturday, July 30, 2016

1048; A Laundry Story

Bismillah.

Why do I feel so pathetic right now..

All I wanted to do was my laundry. Ive been walking back and forth at the corridor for the 9473726th times few moments just now.

One time Im out of my room huff and puff with my baldi, detergent and coins.

Another time Im out with a ruler to jolok this washing machine which just wont accept my 10cents.

Another few more times I have to find new coins in my room only to find the washing machine rejecting it again.

For God's sake, it's only 20cents left to wash all my clothes then Imma be the happiest lazy girl ever but no, fate just had it's way to make my day. *smiles and cries*

I. Am. Out. Of. Coins. And. Determinations. Help.

I. Also. Lost. My. RM2.30. To. A. Washing. Machine.

Now here I am, trying to calm myself down, writing a post about a washing machine that has just rejected me. Rejection hurts, bebeh.

p/s: Left my baldi & detergent there just in case anyone would want to do me justice. #prayforkiahslaundry #solazydontcare

2007

Friday, July 29, 2016

1047; Joyahs

Bismillah.

Erna and I, we have a thing for asking each other what we're going to do. Being the penyibuks, we even call ourselves 'The Joyahs'.

Once I went out of the loo and she asked me what did I do. I answered her but then she was disgusted hahahaha.

"You shouldn't have explained it to me that detailed!"

"Dah kau tanya, aku jawablah!"

TU LAAA JOYAH LAGI!

0116

Thursday, July 28, 2016

1046; Hitam

Bismillah.

Bila hati telah hitam.

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Sunday, July 17, 2016

1045; Write.

Bismillah.

I write when I'm strong. And also when I am not.

I only show you the best part of me in this medium and not the other.

When I post lots of things for straight row in few days, it may be that I was so happy for that straight week. But when I dont write anything for long time, it might be that I was busy, lazy or just... sad.

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