Tuesday, November 22, 2016

1062; Hug


"Dont do that"

The hug I mean. It's too tight I'm afraid I'm gonna cry, just like that day.

Thank you for the adventures,
See you when I see you.


Sunday, November 13, 2016

1061; Cucuk Kepala


Arham: Kakak kenapa ada pin cucuk atas kepala kakak?

Me: Pin ni, masa nk secure kat tudung, kita kena cucukkan juga dalam kulit kepala kita supaya tudung ni tak bergerak gerak. See! /tries gerakkan tudung ke depan & belakang/

Arham: Dalam kulit? I'm not budak kecik la kak.

Me: Tak percaya ke? Ibu, betulkan akak cakap ni?

Ibu: Haa betullah tu /while playing phone/



Thursday, November 3, 2016

1060; Leave This Here


I really wanna write something but have no idea so imma leave this here.


Friday, October 28, 2016

1059; Ikan Tamban


"Lepas kakak siang ikan tu, kelar badannya banyak banyak."

"Banyak mana?"

"Banyak banyak. Sebab ikan ni banyak tulang, bila kita kelar nanti tulangnya patah juga. Senang nak makan dengan tulangnya sekali. Nanti kita goreng garing sikit, sedap buat makan."



Tuesday, October 25, 2016

1058; Yana, Piqah, Syaleen, Erna


It was a calm morning in Mayang Selida room 8-17.

I was up earliest as usual. The night before, we arranged our beds side by side so that we can sleep together for the last few nights, so this morning I woke up to the sight of my roommates by my side. Them sleeping was never a big deal before but that morning, it feels slightly different. Emotionally different.

I started counting. Two days. Two days before fate had to set us four apart. After almost two and a half years, now it's only two days left. Time sure flew so fast.

I'll long for us struggling waking each other up for subuh, Yana's signature sneeze in the morning, Piqah's never ending Ayda Jebat alarm and Erna's stretch before going out of bed.

The memories of early morning chaos before going to class will surely make me smile alone in the future especially us reminding each other to wear pants before going out and the way all of us wanted to wear tudung in front of Piqah's locker coz hers got the best lighting ever haha.

I'll miss opening the door after class to seeing Yana still soundly sleeping, Piqah laughing and crying randomly in front of her laptop and Erna, she motivating me to sleep before the next class (and both of us had to skip the class due to oversleeping, duhh).

And ahh yess, our midnight memoriesss. I'll miss waking up at 3am laughing to Piqah and Yana's jokes, hearing you girls rant of hunger, and our late night gossips about whoever. One thing I regret not doing for the past semesters is resting my head on Piqah's back. How come I never knew she was so soft and cuddly?!! /cries/

I stared at them sleeping, slightly chuckled seeing their sleeping poses. Ahh, I'm so gonna miss you girls.

"Yanaa, Piqahh, Ernaa bangun subuhhhh"

I hope you girls miss that too /wink/


To Syaleen, I missed you too. Things were surely different without you by our side. All five of us will surely make a great family and sisters together.


Thursday, October 13, 2016

1057; Good Poems


It is always good poems that makes me wanna love again.


Saturday, October 8, 2016

1056; Suaramu


"Tahu mengapa aku sayangi kau lebih dari siapa pun? Karena kau menulis. Suaramu takkan padam ditelan angin, akan abadi, sampai jauh, jauh dikemudian hari." -Promedya Ananta Toer.


I find Indonesian poems and language so romantic. Help.


Wednesday, September 28, 2016


Saturday, September 24, 2016

1054; That Evening.


It was a windy evening in 2010, as far as I could remember. I was alone at the back of the more-than-15-bed-lengthed dorm, writing something on small pieces of papers. It was a list of something that was tinyly written. Something that never have I thought could change the way my future works.

I am blessed for that day my heart was moved to do that. A list of things I should do and should not do in my life. Things a muslimah should and not do in life. Things a girl should and not do in life. Things a non-animal-lover should and not do in life. Things a student should and not do in life. Things a daughter should and not do in life. Things a human being should and should not do in life.

I now thank the younger me for doing that for these are the things that most of the time saved me from the lies of the world.

It was a windy evening in 2010. I fold up those papers into two, and kept them behind my matrix card for few years before the words were washed up by the rain. But worry not, the words are still there with me, in me, being the principles of my life.


Thursday, September 15, 2016

1053; Agreed


Qisya, I finally agreed to your latest blog post.

It's hard to pretend but pretending is the only way to make us go through this.

I hope you'll be strong.
Wish me the same.