Bismillah.
If you've been reading my blog, I've been talking about S a lot. Tbh, there are quite a number of Ss in my life and I don't really care about differentiating each and everyone of them to you lol. Today this S I am about to talk about is the sweet girl who is someone important in my life.
If you've been reading my blog, I've been talking about S a lot. Tbh, there are quite a number of Ss in my life and I don't really care about differentiating each and everyone of them to you lol. Today this S I am about to talk about is the sweet girl who is someone important in my life.
She and I, we're very different in many sorts of ways. I wouldn't say that I am a perfectionist but I love things kept in their places, tidy and clean, everything done in a timely manner but S, she's more of the normal one. In a good way of course.
I guess there were times that she got annoyed by how I kept messing around with her things because I wanted to clean up her space and also when I continuously volunteered to cook for her meals because she was busy with classes and I just wanted to make it easier for her- but it ended up making her sad.
How did I know about her uneasiness? She told it in my face, crying. All my life, I've never felt so bad about helping people out. But I learnt now that she just felt bad and sorry that I've been doing everything by myself and that she wanted to help out too. I'm so sorry S, I swear I didn't mind doing all those because that's just.. me.
I am one year more senior than her so we parted ways last year- I'm staying in Malaysia, she continued her studies in the UK. When I wasn't there in the UK, people kept comparing her with me- how the things that S did reminds them of me. They told her that she was the second me. I know S- she has been dealing with lots of self-esteem issues due to lots of reasons. I don't think she feels good about being compared like that despite she telling me in a happy manner. I don't feel good either.
S, if you're reading this, you were never the second me. Know that you are a unique you and people loves you for being you. I love you for being you.
I have never told this to anyone but know that you alone have made me a better person without you knowing it. Thank you for motivating me to re-memorise my surahs. Thank you for being my solat jemaah partner almost everyday in that small room we had. Thank you for all the nights that you woke up silently and prayed your tahajjud- it surely made me jealous how you're trying hard to hide it. Thank you for showing me that even when the day was tiring, you still can read your Quran, even while lying down. Thank you for accompanying me to every daurahs, it surely made it a lot less lonelier.
With you, I am surely a much much better person. I pray to Allah that He could surround me with more people like you. I even prayed that my future husband would give out the same good vibe as you. I admit that right after I came back to Malaysia, I was in deep darkness for few months because I was alone. Yes, I was surrounded by lots of nice people but none helped me push my amal- hence I was still alone. I drowned myself. I can't wait for you to come back to Malaysia.
To everyone reading this, S just had her first online job interview yesterday. Pray that this journey be eased for her. Pray that she gets the job that would please Allah. Pray that she gets it somewhere near to my workplace so that I have her to motivate me just like the old times haha #selfish.
1759
28032020
Ramadhan T-26
Unprivating T-29
Jelatek
S, if you're reading this, you were never the second me. Know that you are a unique you and people loves you for being you. I love you for being you.
I have never told this to anyone but know that you alone have made me a better person without you knowing it. Thank you for motivating me to re-memorise my surahs. Thank you for being my solat jemaah partner almost everyday in that small room we had. Thank you for all the nights that you woke up silently and prayed your tahajjud- it surely made me jealous how you're trying hard to hide it. Thank you for showing me that even when the day was tiring, you still can read your Quran, even while lying down. Thank you for accompanying me to every daurahs, it surely made it a lot less lonelier.
With you, I am surely a much much better person. I pray to Allah that He could surround me with more people like you. I even prayed that my future husband would give out the same good vibe as you. I admit that right after I came back to Malaysia, I was in deep darkness for few months because I was alone. Yes, I was surrounded by lots of nice people but none helped me push my amal- hence I was still alone. I drowned myself. I can't wait for you to come back to Malaysia.
To everyone reading this, S just had her first online job interview yesterday. Pray that this journey be eased for her. Pray that she gets the job that would please Allah. Pray that she gets it somewhere near to my workplace so that I have her to motivate me just like the old times haha #selfish.
1759
28032020
Ramadhan T-26
Unprivating T-29
Jelatek
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