1657; Pregant, Preganate, Pegrananante

Bismillah.

W6 - 22/7/2024, Mon
The ambitious me wants to blog every single day of pregnancy but the fatigued, constantly tired me couldn't have the energy to even think about it. Hoping to write more short notes- don't wanna regret not doing it later!

Today work was tiring with preparing inputs for parliament questions. Almost didn't eat lunch today coz 1) appetite is still meh and 2) had to work through lunch hour. Finished my nasi & kari daging 2 ketul (felt scammed) anyway coz u know, gotta eat for the baby.

No cramping for today alhamdulillah, mood was also okay. Appetite came back during dinner, super bloated over 1 burger crispy lol. Also, had this weird craving for Luqman's smell, which neither of us are complaining!

W7, 27/7/2024, Sat
Honestly can't write everyday... I'm just tired... Mama kata normal lah tu, baby is taking up the good stuffs in my body. Maknya yang jadi lesu. Also slowly noticing changes to my body... belly is sticking out more... and honestly can't blame the baby. Baby is still small kot...

Appetite is still meh... the thought of any food makes me wanna puke. Tongue constantly feels bitter- learnt it was called dysguesia. Sounds like whatever it means.

Alhamdulillah alhamdulillah alhamdulillah for Luqman, ibu, ayah & adik. After maghrib I told Luqman I wanted chocolate milk. He immediately got up and made me exactly that, from scratch. Adik, who proudly calls himself Appacu now, cooked nasi goreng for the family coz I told them I'm too tired to cook today. Ayah fried ayam goreng, which I was sad I couldn't eat much today. Nasi goreng & ayam goreng was honestly superb.

W7, 28/7/2024, Sun
Tak termampu ya nak masak sebab fikir makanan je dah boleh bayang bau dia and rasa nak wek wekkk. I am constantly either 😷 or 🤮. This is just a phase... hopefully not too long of a phase. Rabbi yassir wa la tuassir rabbi tammim bil khair.

I skip all of food content on my fyp now. Looking at food now is a no no for me... Luqman must be happy I finally stop watching mukbang videos now. All my fav food doesn't seem tasty anymore. I now, weirdly, crave for lots of fruits- apples, watermelons, mangoes ahh sedapnyaaaa. I can already hear Dalillah and Dayana screaming "Kak Faqihah??? Suka buah???". Took a baby to get me to this.

W7, 30/7/2024, Tue

Ya Allah, sihatkan lah saya dan anak saya. Kembalikanlah selera makan saya supaya anak saya sihat. 

Macam ni rupanya perasaan mengandung. Macam biasa kita selalu invalidate diri sendiri dengan cakap orang lain punya morning sickness lagi teruk. Kalau Luqman tahu saya fikir mcm ni, dah boleh dengar dia cakap "don't talk like that to my wife". 

Sekarang ni memang selalu kiok tidur dalam 9.30pm. Takdelah buat apa sangat seharian, tapi terasa macam dah built-in perasaan penat ni dalam badan. Luqman macam biasa akan terikut dengan sleeping pattern isteri dia. Lah, siapa pregrant ni! 

Kita memang suka lah cakap pasal Luqman sebab dah suka enn haha. Haritu yang craving buah-buahan tu, lepas tournament basketball terus Luqman ajak dinner luar (sebab sis tak boleh masak or bau masakan), and pergi Giant utk beli fruits. Additional yogurt sebab teringin, which end up Luqman yang habiskan sebab perutku terlalu penuh. Syurga lah untuk suamiku.

1656;

Bismillah.

"Semalam saya sedih sangat, saya tak tahu nak buat apa. Saya doa sangat-sangat kat Allah supaya Allah bagi saya kekuatan untuk hadapi semua ni dengan akhlak yang terbaik."

1655; Dreams Reviewed

Bismillah.

Y'all wouldn't have expected that won't you? Me neither!

All Luqman ever told me before was only the last part of the dream, so I was expecting that the full story would be heartwarming and emotional- but I wasn't ready for THIS kind of thrill! I had good laughs from start to finish- but surely amidst all the actions, I could totally understand how this means a lot for us.

Agreed that it was 'super epic' as he would describe it >.< I might retire from writing if my husband is already this good of a writer. Can't wait for part 2!

Talk later, gotta fight some colourful LGBT zombies.

- Faqihah, Cheras

1654; Dreams

Yes, you read it right, dream(s). It was a month ago where I had 2 vivid dreams, which is extremely rare. The fact that I can remember it till today makes it very rare. Since there aren’t many space that I can explicitly rant (except to my bb), this would be the place that I can immortalize this piece of memory.

Disclaimer: its gonna be silly. Stop here if ur allergic to cringe haha.

Dream 1:

Bang!

So I smashed open a safe vault by tackling with my shoulder (pretty strong huh). The place that we were infiltrating was akin to a 30 stories prison dungeon and the vault is on the third level from the bottom. There, we ransacked the vault, looking for weapons to fight our enemies. 

“Skreeeee”

A hissing sound was heard from the door of the vault. An LGBT transgender zombie with colorful hair was crawling on the ground, looking to jump us. 

As it was jumping around the weapon vault, we tried to shoot him/her/them but it was quite quick on its feet. We began shooting and rays of lights could be seen everywhere, finally the crazy zombie was neutralized, but that was just the beginning. 

“Cepat, dorang dah sampai!” 

Shouted one of my comrade. 

We ran out of the vault only to notice that a swarm of LGBT zombies was sprinting from the first level and as they saw us, they tried to crawl up the wall and column of the building. Literally like cockroaches trying to eat you. The whole team rushed to the hallway and start raining down bullets towards those filthy vermin. Many was killed, as we surround them from above, keeping them from enroaching us.

Despite our firepower, another wave of colourful LGBT zombies came crashing down the main entrance. We had no choice but to retreat. As I ran, we regrouped with the ladies taking refuge above. There I met my wife again, she looked slightly pale and sick but the situation doesn’t allow for a sentimental reunion. We kept running.

She had the wife of Harith helping her supporting her running while I was watching the perimeter while running. I was curious of what happened but that need to wait.

After we passed through a long hallway connecting the two buildings, there was a meeting point that was separated by a glass door. There were already a few more people there and suddenly Ammar congratulates me.

It was so sudden. He congratulated me as he was handling a wrapped up baby onto my hands. I was speechless, emotions was overwhelming, I cant believe the miracle of life that was making its way within the apocalyptic chaos. And now I'm a father! Faqihah just delivered our baby! It was so touching and warmth bloomed from within. I simply cannot describe the feeling. It’s a bundle of pride, joy, love, care, sacrifice and honestly, its indescribable. 

Tears ran down my eyes..

And then I woke up. Looking at my lovely wife still sleeping soundly next to me. I hugged her, glad that it was all a dream. But I'm still thinking about it until this very day if there were any sign or meaning to such a vivid and detailed dream. 

But it doesn’t end here. There is a part 2.

To be continued…

Qman - Kulai 

1653; A Part of Me Was Gone

Yesterday was the day that a third of me was gone. The "Lu" of Luqman. 

It has been 10 years since the day I met you. I still remember the day, it was blurry and a bit hard to see (especially at night). And so I went to warta and there where we met miraculously. That was 10 years ago. How time flies thinking that a third of my life was together with you.

You were part of my identity. Truly people would recognize me only because of you. We went through thick and thin together. Sickness and strength. We've seen it all together, truly without you i would have seen nothing (at least nothing too far). 

But now times has changed. I have a new need for growth as I am now a grown man. My power is now reduced and I got astigmatism too (and actually I want to look like gojo n Morpheus). 

So here we are. Looking at each other with our final goodbye. As the train departs, I will always remember you buddy. You will always be in my spare glasses case, Lu. I will miss you.

Much love,

qman 👨‍🏫