1069; Procrastination

Bismillah.

Do you procrastinate?- coz I always do. I have lots of work to do but most of them are undone just because I am lazy to do it. When I wanna do something, I have to finish it in one go or else it will be left hanging till forever. Oh wait, I have to blow my nose. Don't go anywhere coz I have more things to say to you. I'll be right back really soon.

1067; The Makeup Struggle

Bismillah.

My cousin got married the other day (alhamdulillah). It's an important wedding and most of my family will be there too so I really wanted to look good, i.e wear makeups. It wasn't my 'cuti' day so I doubt that the makeups will last long coz I have to perform my solat.

After lots of thoughts and considerations, I tell myself, let's have a try. I mean, it couldn't be impossible. Hijabistas out there look like they wear makeups all day long. I surely can do this.

So I tried. I put on some powder, blusher and lipstick (the kind of makeups hijabistas wear to pasar) before I went out of the house. Good enough for me. After few hours on the road, I had my Asar at an RnR and only reapplied powder and lipstick, leaving behind the blusher.

As soon as I arrived at Selangor, it was probably already 3 hours since I reapplied my makeup. I only wear cheap lipstick (one that you buy at Watsons, not Sephora) so the colour had already faded by the time I reached cousin's house. Exhausted from the long ride, I decided to go to the majlis with pale lips, hence the pale face.

Mission failed.

I just had to reapply THREE products everytime but failed and how even people do it with foundations, eyeliners, eyeshadows etc (other things that I don't know)?!. Just how do people keep up with maintaining their makeups. Do they really take off their makeups before solat and then patiently reapply them again? Do they do it quick? Do they not care people waiting for them? Gahh I really don't know. Tell me!

I usually go to class with at least some powder and lipstick on my face. Without those, my face is obviously tanned and scarred, so I really need em. Recently my college friends, two of em guys, stayed at my house for four days (coz we have a competition in JB). Danger alert. How am I supposed to wear powder and lipstick for like 24/7 to cover up my flaws? Sounds partly ridiculous to my ears. So I decided, let it be. If before this I told you that I only go bare face when no friends are around, now my self confidence has reached another level. To a level that I could wear crumpled, unironed tudung when going out with them without any sense of guilt hahahahahahahahahimscrewed.

This is a part of a journey to becoming less- selekeh so I just had to write this down. I know beauty don't last but I believe every woman want to be called pretty. Honestly I want to be called so too. I don't get such compliments on Instagram whenever I post my pictures, unlike my friends and my friends' girlfriends (frankly it increases my insecurities), so I could just assume that I fall in the so- so category. But I'm loving the so- so category. People don't look at you twice, which means you're not beautiful but neither is ugly and that's a good thing for me because I don't favour limelights. Plus, I get the chance to learn that I am special in a way; kuyu eyes, penyek nose, oversized cheekbones, but still cute kah kah!

I should really stop scrolling 'explore' on Instagram. Peer pressure game too strong.

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Kulai 

1063; Post Diploma

Bismillah.

It's been so long since I write. Quite've been too overwhelmed in the so called long holiday I have after diploma. I was waiting for this 'boost' to kick in and start writing again so wallaaa.. here I am!

1. These days I don't feel bored staying in the house for days coz I got my baby brothers to kacau2 and manja2 and all. I always know they were annoyed of me but hey, that's what sisters do! The fact that we can meet up only few times in a year, it made our bonds grow stronger. But nowadays they tend to ignore me when I ask them to do things. It's kind of an everyday battle but this big sister aint gonna lose that battle kah kah! My secret weapon... a secret of course.

2. I have to cook almost everyday for my family. I improved guyssss, finalleyhhh. I dont need recipe books anymore and here comes the 'campak campak' skill! Plus, no more 2 hours for a dish hahaha. I can catch up with most types of dishes but ones that requires me to use cili kering... I'm out.

There's a day when I attempted to make asam pedas salmon for dinner, it didn't turn out well. There was something wrong with the taste. I tried adding salt, but then my asam pedas tasted completely salty. When I tried adding sugar, it immediately tasted sweet. Only sweet. You just cant call it 'asam pedas'. I had already gave up on it when suddenly I remembered that I forgot to add ASAM JAWA in it. Goshhhhhhh it wasnt the saltiness or sweetness that's lacking. I just forgot to put the 'ASAM' IN MY 'ASAM PEDAS'. See Faqihah, who says you dont need that recipe book? /cries/

3. I entered the dUCk competition on Instagram! Not a dUCk fan (can't even afford em) but the prizes.. I just had to. As I posted my edits into my Instagram, I wasn't only submitting pictures- I was submitting my resume. Well, you never know where luck lands hehe.

I learnt a lot during the process and was even immersed into it even after few days the contest ended. Haha. I didn't win but at a different perspective, I learnt a lot about Photoshop and Picsart from YouTube and people who had been supporting me all along. Thank you you-know-who-you-are!

4. I am slowly getting used to driving for long hours. Ibu and ayah went to umrah last week so I had to bring back home my baby brother (okay not so baby, he's 16). Johor-Melaka drive is so tiringgg. The fact that I took 2 hours (at 120km/h) only to get to sempadan Johor (from Kulai) is already.. duhh. Nevermind. Thank God abang already finished his school so I dont need to drive to Putrajaya to meet up with him.

5. I try not to wear anything on my face everytime I go outside, eg; malls. When my skin is doing very good (or bad), I just have to challenge my self confidence, especially when my friends weren't around to judge me haha. I skip all my facial routine (toner, moisturizer, powder, lipstick etc) and just walk out of the house like a (pale) diva. My number one inspiration, men! How can men look so normal even without makeups on?! Urgh.

Breakouts are nothing these days. I dont really care having a big pimple at the centre of my face area and just let it treat itself naturally.

No lah, I'm just lazy hahaha.

That's all for now to sum up my post diploma. Assalamualaikum!

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Kulai

1051; You're a Hibiscus.

Bismillah.

I was so hungry.

I only had megi for last night's dinner and a mug of Nestum this morning. Erna's worse- she only had biscuits for dinner. Yeah you dont have to tell us. We women so lazy one to go downstairs to find food haha.

For a person who gets hungry all the time like me, this is a no-no. I. Need. Food. I. Can. Now. Eat. A. Man. Already. So after Zuhur, Erna & I, we rushed to have lunch together. I might be as well too hungry to think so I just put on anything I can grab from the locker.

As I walked out of the door, I glanced over the outfit that I'm wearing... oh gosh. RIP fashion sense. What was I thinking? Green cardigan and red tshirt? I mean, green and red? Together? This is literally an insult to all colour blinds in the world!

Blergh whatever. I've got stomach to be fed right now and this isnt really the time to talk fashion. Plus, I'm never gonna meet anyone I know down there, right? Riiighhtttttt??

Yeah right.

A bunch of guy friends are down there buying their food too. Now I'm embarassed of myself. Luck isnt on my side today. Huhuu. Eventhough no one really cares but... I DO HAVE A PRESTIGIOUS LEVEL TO BE MAINTAINED, NOT TO MENTION MY INSECURITIES!

Fuhh take a deep breath, Faqihah. Think positive. You gotta handle this.

Green and red? That's the colour of nature. Oh wait. You look like a flower. The petals and the leaves... Awwh, a hibiscus!

...

So guys, I went queuing for my food, chanting:

'It's okay. You look like a flower.'

'You're a flower'

'Yes, a flower.'

And I almost thought I've gone crazy.

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919; Air Mata Syndrome

Bismillah.

I have an 'air-mata-keluar-tiba-tiba' syndrome. You better watch out when you're with me; I might cry even when looking at the wall. 

luls.

(No lah. I was sad. But with no concrete reason :'D You know.. girls and their emotions... *rolls eyes)

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